The views expressed in John Aller’s Poetry do not necessarily reflect those of Beneath The Rainbow or their staff.
God is Calling
I was strolling down the street in Seoul,
when I happened to look across the street
to the local Korean Presbyterian church.
It had many banners up in Korean,
all advertising summer bible studies.
But it had one banner in English that said: ‘God is calling’.
That prompted a laugh,
not at the Korean Presbyterians but at myself,
because I happened to think what it would be like
if God did call me on my mobile phone.
Ring, ring, and then I pick up.
Me: Who the hell is this?
God: Never am in Hell. Is this Jake?”
Me: who wants to know?
Me. God? I don’t believe in God. So, who are you?”
God: I believe in you Jake.
Me; so why are you calling? What do you want? A donation?
God: Nope. Just wanted to talk to you since you are such a skeptic
Wanted to make you believe in me
Me: well send me a text with the winning lotto numbers and we can talk.
God: Does not work that way.
Me: why not? God can do anything right?”
God: but not that. Listen since we are talking
You can still save yourself from Hell by doing the right thing.
Me: seems unlikely that I will avoid hell now don’t you think?”
God: Well miracles can happen.
Me: what about the wife? Is she going to heaven?”
God: yes, she is as a reward for putting up with you.
Me: that sounds about right. So, when do I go the heaven or hell?
God: not up to me. That has been contracted out to the Grimm reaper.
He will be calling you one of these days. So, get ready.
Me; thanks for the heads up.
God: well I must go. Things to do, people to see. It is not easy
Being God and running the whole show.
Me; God can you tell me did you anoint Trump as the preachers say?
God: those preachers are all going to hell as is Trump. I do not bother
With talking to the Jim Bakers of the world. They are all lying SOB’s
Me; instead you talk to me?
God: That’s right son. I like atheists and hate those damn preachers.
Me: all right then. Send me the lotto numbers and I will believe you.
God: ha ha ha. Good one. I must go.
Me: text arrives with lotto numbers. I go to the local store and win millions of
Dollars in the lotto. And of course, attribute it to all to God but no one believed me.
Old Age Blues (from high school classmate)
I went out the other night
Got rip roaring drunk
Something I seldom do anymore
And thought about my birthday
And the next 30 years
And wonder if I will make it
Made it so far
61 years around the sun
Must be doing something right
I may become old and feeble
My pilot light is out
What used to my sex appeal
Is now a watering sprout
I used to be embarrassed
to make the thing behave for every single morning,
it would stand and watch me shave,
but now it gives me the blues,
to watch this thing hang down my leg,
and watch me shine my shoes.
And I realize that I am just an old fart now
Making old fart noises
And so it goes
And so I go
And think about the past
And all that I have done
And all that I have left to do
And realize that everyday
I wake up is a bonus gift from God
And I smile and get dressed
For whatever the day may bring
Of the constant deluge
The constant flood
Of fake news in my inbox
It seems everything is fake these days
The President lies
The media lies
The country lies to itself
Everything is not all right jack
And never will be right
As long as an idiot is in charge
With his constant tweets
Posturing and lies
And the spinmeisters
The truth is a lie
The lie is true
I can’t tell any more
It is all fake news to me
Enough no more
Give it to me straight
Quit the god damn lying
And tell us the truth
But then we can’t handle the truth
And so the fake news continues
The constant spam
The constant lies
As we all die
From too much information
All the time
I want to quit
Go away somewhere
But nowhere is safe
As we’re all stuck here
In the world of fake news
God Does Not Talk to Idiots
There is another outrageous statement
From this preacher or that preacher
Saying that God spoke to them
And told them that Trump
Was anointed by God himself
And would bring us all to the promised land
Well I hate to bring it up
But I feel I must
If God exists
And is all powerful
Why would he waste his time
Talking to these idiot preachers?
And why would he anoint Trump
The most ungodly of all politicians
How do these preachers know
It is God calling
Does God speak to them?
And what does God sound like?
How did God talk to them?
On the phone? By email? By tweet
Or by visions or voices in their head?
Or are they just raving lunatics
Who think that God is calling them?
God does not in my opinion
Talk to idiots
Nor should he tolerate these fools any more
God does not send us hurricanes or tornados
To punish us
That is beneath his pay grade
God is god and is mysterious
And if he speaks to us at all
We surely do not understand
Anything he says
As we have surely screwed up
The teachings of his prophets
So I wish to end this by saying
Oh you false prophets
God is not calling you
And never has
Just SFTU already
Idiots In High Places
Many years ago
I was amazed to find
So many idiots in high places
All over the world
All were idiots
People who should have known
A thing or so
because they should have seen a thing or so
and yet these idiots in high places
would reveal their total ignorance
every time they opened their mouth
or tweet or email their profoundly wrong thoughts
and it never ceased to amaze me
that few ever challenged these idiots
few ever said but you are wrong
or you don’t have a clue
and these idiots caused so much damage
to those around them
to the country and the world
and now we have the-idiot-in-chief
in charge of the richest most powerful country
the world has ever known
and I wonder how in a country of 350 million people
we ended up with such an idiot in charge
But the idiots in high places phenomenon
Corporations made stupid decisions
Countries make incredibly bad decisions
All traced back to idiots in high places
And these idiots in high places
Can’t hide their ignorance and pure stupidity
They can’t pretend anymore
In a world of 24/7 constant news
The idiots every pronouncement
Fills the airways 24/7
And the only people who know better
Are too afraid to say what they know
That the idiot in high place
Is an idiot
and is destroying the world
and so we’re doomed to die
due to the idiot in high places
John (“Jake”) Cosmos Aller is a novelist, poet, and former Foreign Service officer having served 27 years with the U.S. State Department serving in ten countries – (Korea, Thailand, India, the Eastern Caribbean (lived in Barbados but covering Antigua, Barbados, Dominica, Grenada, St Kitts, St Lucia, and St Vincent) and Spain, and travelled to 50 countries, and 49 out of 50 States.
He has written four novels, 900 poems, and 50 short stories. His work has appeared in over 25 literary journals. Jake grew up in Berkeley.
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